deny yourself
"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
-Luke9:23
Although I know it is not the case, 'deny yourself' triggers images of glorious martyrdom for the sake of the gospel and glamourous self-denial in the wilderness for missions. I found out today, reading Romans 6-7 for Disciple that 'deny myself' can cut a lot closer to home than I thought. It may mean deny yourself the 'right' to be happy. all the time. to be served. all the time. sometimes. never.
I suspected for some time, but only confirmed it yesterday, that I have been extremely selfish for the past 3 months or so. Most of my dissatisfaction with the way things are stem from the fact that I wish I could sometimes be served. After all, that doesn't sound too demanding, does it? I don't mind serving myself, I don't mind being the support and the one with the sane mind, but isn't it perfectly understandable and perfectly acceptable, that I want a break sometimes? that I deserve one?
"...For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
But Christ calls for an abandonment of 'rights' for surrender. He calls for trust that He will provide the rest. And I am not to expect or to demand people, humans like myself, to be like me. I think I don't mind denying myself meat and even my comfortable lifestyle, but to deny myself for the sake of someone else proves to be much harder. To give of my time and my energy and my attention to anyone, proves to be harder than to give up the world for my Lord.
"...deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow me..."
It's so much easier to run away and pray that somehow things will work out rather than to face the fact that maybe He wants me to be the instrument to comfort and to help. When you're trapped in the same space it's a bit hard to run away, but I've still done it, for so many years.
It takes so much more courage to stay and to be there. to be rejected, maybe. (like Him)
"that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and my share in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..."
I hope one day I can muster enough courage. I hope each day I can have the courage to hang on and not give up. I don't know how long I can last. He promises that He can, and I have no choice but to trust that.
-Luke9:23
Although I know it is not the case, 'deny yourself' triggers images of glorious martyrdom for the sake of the gospel and glamourous self-denial in the wilderness for missions. I found out today, reading Romans 6-7 for Disciple that 'deny myself' can cut a lot closer to home than I thought. It may mean deny yourself the 'right' to be happy. all the time. to be served. all the time. sometimes. never.
I suspected for some time, but only confirmed it yesterday, that I have been extremely selfish for the past 3 months or so. Most of my dissatisfaction with the way things are stem from the fact that I wish I could sometimes be served. After all, that doesn't sound too demanding, does it? I don't mind serving myself, I don't mind being the support and the one with the sane mind, but isn't it perfectly understandable and perfectly acceptable, that I want a break sometimes? that I deserve one?
"...For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
But Christ calls for an abandonment of 'rights' for surrender. He calls for trust that He will provide the rest. And I am not to expect or to demand people, humans like myself, to be like me. I think I don't mind denying myself meat and even my comfortable lifestyle, but to deny myself for the sake of someone else proves to be much harder. To give of my time and my energy and my attention to anyone, proves to be harder than to give up the world for my Lord.
"...deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow me..."
It's so much easier to run away and pray that somehow things will work out rather than to face the fact that maybe He wants me to be the instrument to comfort and to help. When you're trapped in the same space it's a bit hard to run away, but I've still done it, for so many years.
It takes so much more courage to stay and to be there. to be rejected, maybe. (like Him)
"that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and my share in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..."
I hope one day I can muster enough courage. I hope each day I can have the courage to hang on and not give up. I don't know how long I can last. He promises that He can, and I have no choice but to trust that.
posted by beloved at 12:08 AM
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